go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
