Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize