he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
