we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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