Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
