he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
this will be a night to untag.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
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