If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
