At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
