**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
