quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
