just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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