His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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