he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
only you would photoshop your dick
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
