i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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