C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
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i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
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Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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