he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Randomize
