Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
