i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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