Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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