OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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