Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
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I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
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A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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