i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
