ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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