I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
