Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
