awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
