it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
