I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
