That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
