i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
