omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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