There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just had sex on a roof
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
