Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
