He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
