i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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