apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
