i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
