There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
