her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
