i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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