with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
How's work?
Spinning.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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