haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
