I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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