Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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