i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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