Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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