how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
