It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
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I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
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So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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