is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Randomize