oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
