last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
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I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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