i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
