when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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