TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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