your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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