His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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