you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
