She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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