if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
